Finding a DNA match with someone is a very exciting thing for most genealogists. However, the approach that is taken in how to contact that match and what to say can be a bit of a stressful thing to deal with. Do you keep it short and sweet? Do you send them everything you know (or think you know) about the match which may scare off those new to genetic genealogy? What is the perfect mix of intrigue and information to get a response?
Some matching sites, give more contact details such as a direct email address. Generally these offer a better chance of getting a reply. Others offer a simple proprietary messaging systems such as Ancestry where you have to be very strategic about your message and hope that that user logs into Ancestry to check for new messages.
Over the last couple of years, I’ve tried several approaches including links to my public family tree, links to articles, full instructions on using GEDmatch and fully listing any possible connections I have with the match.
The purpose of this blog post is to have a source that I can direct my matches to to better understand the information I’m providing and what I’m asking or expecting from them in response to my message to them. I should add that it is always best to do as much research about the match as you can before reaching out. For example, being able to confirm that it is a maternal or paternal match or even what common ancestor you may share greatly reduced the number of ancestral surnames you need to share with your new found cousin. There are lots of DNA tools that can help with this process. I’ve listed a few below.
- Chromosome Browser – Many testing companies offer this visual representation of your DNA which can be invaluable in confirming what chromosome and segment a DNA match has with you
- DNA Painter – Map your chromosomes with your DNA matches from several sources to get a visual representation of your ancestral common ancestors
- RootsFinder – Use multiple visual tools in order to sort and track your DNA matches
Below is an example of a message template that you can use to message your DNA matches
Dear Cousin,
I have discovered that we are a DNA match and I’d love for us to confirm our relationship to each other. Now what? Since AncestryDNA does not offer a chromosome browser which would help me confirm more specifically what chromosome and segments of those chromosomes we share, it would be very helpful to make use of GEDmatch Genesis which is a 3rd party DNA tool commonly used by many genealogists. Once you have your DNA uploaded to Genesis, I can then use their analysis tools to better confirm not only our match but other shared matches we have in order for us to both build our family trees further.
GEDmatch provides DNA and genealogical analysis tools for amateur and professional researchers and genealogists. Most tools are free, but we do provide some premium tools for users who wish to help support us with contributions. You will need to upload DNA and / or genealogical (GEDCOM) data to make use of the tools here. Registration requires your name, email and a password of your choice.
GEDmatch Genesis login screen – https://www.gedmatch.com
Registering for the site is completely free as mentioned above. Would you please consider uploading your raw DNA to Genesis? If so, you can reference another blog post that offers specific step-by-step instructions on this process. (Gedmatch/Genesis…What is it and why am I being asked about it?) If you are already set up on Genesis, you can simply provide your kit number and accept my thanks and know that I will be in touch once I have done some analysis.
You may also consider uploading a GEDCOM (family tree) file to your Genesis kit if you haven’t already done so. Alternatively, sharing your family tree through Ancestry (or other online service) would help me better research were our connection may be. You can export a GEDCOM file from Ancestry or from most popular desktop genealogy software you may use. Because Genesis family trees are public, it is recommended that you chose to privatize living individuals when creating your GEDCOM file.
Now, you’ve uploaded your raw DNA to Genesis as well as your GEDCOM (optional but very valuable). You can now use the tools found at Genesis to start looking for additional DNA matches not found at your testing company as they may have been uploaded form other services like FamilyTreeDNA, MyHeritage, 23&Me, etc. While using DNA for genealogy can be a bit overwhelming at first, it is an invaluable tool for genealogists to help prove or disprove family connection theories and I encourage you to try it out for yourself. There are a lot of online resources to help you learn more about it as you progress.
THANK YOU!
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you decide to upload to Genesis, please let me know what your kit number is and I will run the necessary tools to better understand our match. I will also use this information to add to my chromosome map that I keep at a website I use called DNA Painter.
Having a visual representation of our DNA match better assists me in confirming other DNA matches that we share and determine who our MRCA (most recent common ancestor) is. Once we’ve been able to confirm our relationship, I’d be happy to share my research along our shared lines.
If you are not comfortable with using Genesis, there are alternative options as both FamilyTreeDNA and MyHeritage also accept raw DNA uploads for you to consider. However, if you are not comfortable with transferring your DNA information, I would like to continue to work with you on our match using the available tools at Ancestry (Shared Matches, Thrulines, Map and Locations, Pedigree and shared surnames).
If you have any questions, please feel free to get in touch with me and I will do my best to assist.
Best Wishes
Ben Dawson
In addition to the letter above, if I have more specific information pertaining to our family tree connection, I will provide it such as shared surnames, possible common ancestors or even a theory on the connection if there is enough information and documentation available to make a hypothesis.
Good luck with your DNA matches!